Sense and Sensibility: Willoughby's Confession

One evening at Cleveland, where her sister Marianne had lain dangerously ill, Elinor was startled to see Mr. Willoughby walk into the room, and she turned at once to leave.“Miss Dashwood, for half an hour, for ten minutes, I beg you to stay,” he said, and after a moment she sat down, for she was curious in spite of herself.He asked first whether Marianne was really out of danger, and when Elinor said that they hoped so, he asked with a strange, forced cheerfulness whether she thought him more of a knave or a fool.

He explained that he had driven all day from London, and that he had come, not to defend himself, but to make her hate him a little less and to win some kind of forgiveness from her sister.Elinor answered that Marianne had long ago forgiven him, and he said that she should forgive him again, on better grounds, once she heard the whole truth.He admitted that when he first came to know the family he had only wanted to pass the time pleasantly, and that he had tried to win Marianne’s love without ever meaning to return it.

He was poor and in debt, so he had planned to marry a rich woman, but little by little he had truly fallen in love with Marianne, and the happiest hours of his life had been spent with her.Then his rich old cousin, Mrs. Smith, learned that he had behaved shamefully towards another young woman, and in her anger she threw him out of her house and cut him off.That night, afraid of poverty, he decided to give up Marianne and marry a woman with money, and he still remembered how miserable she had looked when he said goodbye.

In London, he said, her first note had pierced him like a dagger, but he was already engaged to Miss Grey, so he kept out of Marianne’s sight and never answered her.The cruel letter that had wounded Marianne, he confessed, was in his own handwriting, but the words were copied from his jealous fiancée, who had opened Marianne’s letter and made him answer it as she wished.Elinor reminded him that he was a married man now, that no one had forced him to choose as he did, and that his wife deserved his respect.

He asked whether he was any less guilty than before, and she answered that he had proved his heart less wicked than she had believed, though she hardly knew what could have made the misery he had caused any worse.He begged her to tell Marianne of his sorrow and regret, and to say that at this moment she was dearer to him than ever.He told her that he had heard of Marianne’s illness the night before from Sir John Middleton, and that at eight that morning, terrified that she might die believing him the worst of villains, he had set out in his carriage.

Elinor, thinking how vanity and extravagance had spoiled a man who had so much natural warmth, felt her anger soften into pity, and she wished him well and offered a little gentle advice.But Willoughby only said that a happy home was out of the question for him, and that he would live in dread of one thing, Marianne’s marrying someone else, and with a hasty “Good-bye, and God bless you,” he almost ran out of the room.