Meditations: What I Owe to Others

Marcus Aurelius ruled the Roman Empire for almost twenty years, and much of that time he spent at war on the cold northern frontier.At night, in his tent, he wrote private notes to himself in Greek. He never meant anyone else to read them, and today we call them the Meditations.He begins not with his own ideas but with a list of debts: what he learned from each person who shaped him.

“From my grandfather Verus I learned good morals and the government of my temper.From the memory of my father, modesty and a manly character.From my mother, kindness, and to keep away not only from evil deeds but even from evil thoughts; and a simple way of living, far from the habits of the rich.From my tutor, to work with my own hands, to want little, not to meddle in other people’s business, and not to listen to gossip.

From Rusticus I first understood that my character needed improvement and discipline.From him I learned not to show off, to write my letters simply, to forgive people quickly once they wished to make peace, and to read a book carefully instead of being satisfied with a quick look.From Apollonius, freedom of will and steadiness of purpose; to look to nothing except reason, not even for a moment; and to stay always the same, in sharp pain, in long illness, and even at the loss of a child.”

Then the second book opens with a reminder that he gave himself for the start of each day:“Begin the morning by saying to yourself: today I shall meet the busybody, the ungrateful, the arrogant, the dishonest, the jealous and the unfriendly.They are like this because they do not know what is good and what is bad.But I have seen that the good is beautiful and the bad is ugly, and I have seen that the person who does wrong is my own kin: not by blood, but because we share the same mind and the same spark of the divine.So none of them can really harm me, because no one can make me ugly against my will; and I cannot be angry with my kinsman, or hate him.For we are made to work together, like feet, like hands, like eyelids, like the rows of the upper and lower teeth. To act against one another is against nature.”