Alice's Adventures in Wonderland: Who Stole the Tarts?

When Alice and the Gryphon arrived, the King and Queen of Hearts were seated on their thrones, with a huge crowd of birds, animals, and playing cards gathered around them.The Knave of Hearts stood in chains, guarded by two soldiers, while the White Rabbit waited nearby with a trumpet in one hand and a scroll of parchment in the other.In the middle of the court stood a table piled with a large dish of tarts, and they looked so delicious that Alice secretly hoped the trial would finish quickly so everyone could eat.

Alice had never been inside a courtroom before, but she had read about them in books, and she was pleased to recognize the judge — the King himself, wearing his crown awkwardly on top of his wig.She also spotted the jury box, where twelve odd little creatures — some animals, some birds — sat writing busily on slates.When she whispered to the Gryphon to ask what they were writing, he explained that the jurors were putting down their own names, for fear they might forget them before the trial was even over.

“Stupid things!” Alice said, a little too loudly — and she was startled to see all twelve jurors calmly write “stupid things” onto their own slates.The White Rabbit blew three blasts on his trumpet and read out the official charge: “The Queen of Hearts, she made some tarts... The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts, and took them quite away!”“Call the first witness!” cried the King, and the Hatter was led in, still clutching a teacup in one hand and a piece of bread-and-butter in the other.

The Hatter apologized for not finishing his tea, and grew so nervous under the King’s sharp questions and the Queen’s fixed stare that he bit a piece out of his teacup instead of his bread.Threatened repeatedly with execution if he could not remember what the March Hare and the Dormouse had said, the poor Hatter dropped to one knee, insisting only that he was a poor man.At last the King grew tired of him and let him go — and the Hatter dashed out of the court so fast that he left without even putting his shoes back on.

Just then Alice felt a strange, familiar sensation: she was beginning to grow larger again, which annoyed the Dormouse squeezed in beside her, though she decided to stay exactly where she was.The next witness, the Duchess’s cook, flatly refused to give any evidence at all, and when the King finally managed to ask what tarts were made of, she answered, “Pepper, mostly” — until a sleepy voice behind her called out, “Treacle!”The Queen instantly shrieked for the Dormouse to be turned out of court, and in the confusion that followed, the cook quietly slipped away and was never called back.

“Call the next witness!” said the King, looking greatly relieved to be done with the cook.The White Rabbit fumbled over his list — and then, to Alice’s utter astonishment, read out, at the top of his shrill little voice, the name “Alice!”